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Dec. 14th, 2016


(no subject)

"Visits are good, but distance is better!"

Feb. 17th, 2015


"Brother of All, With Generous Hand" (1/???)

I am starting fic. This is very dangerous.

Working Title: Brother of All, With Generous Hand
Fandom: xxxHolic/Tsubasa
Rating: PG, likely heading upwards
Word Count: 2,078.
Summery: Syaoran finally meets his fate. And Watanuki. AU.

He just hadn't thought of a way out yet.Collapse )

Feb. 23rd, 2013


Versus (First)

I suppose this finally cinches it. I really do come on here solely to hash things out. Particularly things that I don't want to talk about with the people I know in my non-virtual life.

I've been a bit of a tool lately. Well, probably not any more than normally, but I'm not going to be satisfied until I can put things a bit more where they're supposed to be.

I'm writing the second chapter to my xxxholic fiction finally. I have no idea when it's going to be finished, since I have some Chinese studying that I'm going to have to do which is complete bullshit. I am not ready for the HSK Level 5. It is not possible for me to be ready for the HSK Level 5. I would have to study Chinese, in China, for another year before I would be remotely competent enough to test at this level. The only reason why I'm even bothering taking the test, is because I strongly suspect that the Chinese proctors doctor the results so the participants get better results. I'm hoping to use this to my benefit and get another scholarship to China that I didn't earn.

Chinese bureaucracy in action, haha. It's for my benefit, so I don't really give a fuck, but it's truly amazing to see how transparent they are from an American viewpoint. That's just not done here, or not nearly as easily. Or for free!

I've been stuck at a crossroad. And it's really quietly frustrating and depressing to think that I wouldn't be in this situation if I had only entered the job market a couple of years earlier.

I've had several interviews lately, and rather than buoying my confidence, they've rather destroyed it. For example: I went to an interview for a Library Services Assistant position earlier this week. There were 14 other people at this group interview, with only two others there being recent grads like myself. Fml. This is what I get for thinking that I'm going to find anything in a military and retiree area like my hometown. At least, not anything if I don't have any connections to pull. I live in the fucking South, and in a tough job market everyone reverts to the good ole boy system. Not that they probably don't do the same in the North. But at least they can pretend they don't.

I've had to really reexamine my priorities lately, if not my direction. Because I have no fucking direction where it concerns a job. What I want is a steady position, something I hadn't done before, something that I would find pleasant if not stimulating, something not in SALES because I can't think of any other area of business that would suit me less, and that I could hopefully live off of and maybe even possibly lead to other things. Because I hate to break it to the division of work, but there are some people, like me, who are not going to figure out what area they're going to like until they've worked in it. My dad was the same way. And I can't keep going back to school to get a degree in everything that I could possibly be comfortable doing.

Which actually makes a very good argument for studying Chinese further. Because it could potentially have endless applications in the job market, and therefore I could flit around trying many different industries while maintaining a small pool, highly in demand skill.

I guess that settles that then. I feel strangely relieved. And rather stupid that I didn't work this out before.

When the mood strikes, I can make major decisions rather abruptly. Although to be fair, it's not as if I haven't been considering my options for months now.

Some years from now, I'm going to have to break to my parents that I don't give a fuck to maintain a normal professional position. My  biggest goal in life is to experience as many things as possible, in my own, limited, way, and use those things to express myself in a progressively more sophisticated creative way. Nothing more really.

In that way, if I'm considering my true career path, I want to publish a book (I do have an excellent idea for a first attempt, once I feel I am refined enough in my writing skill), publish some poetry, and draw my own comic that I would publish online. Not difficult at all....(AHAHA.)

The only one of those goals that I feel comfortable trying to start accomplishing is to publish some of my poetry. And that's because poetry is easy. So easy. That, or I'm utterly ignorant. But I think it's because it's easy. As natural as breathing.

It makes me wonder if there's similar parallels in different disciplines, like art and English, when it comes to certain subjects. 3D vs 2D art. Poetry vs prose. People who tend to find one side easy, have a difficult time with the other side.

First (Versus)Collapse )

Jan. 29th, 2012



Oh boy. You know, out of the many things I imagined for myself, one of the things I didn't was that I would ever be any sort of globe-trotter.

That always struck me as something more for the adventurous mindset.

Hell, you can tell I never plan these things, because this has been the first time I used a travel tag! And I've already been outside the States, twice! (Well, technically, four times, but the first two don't count. They occurred before LJ existed.)

I don't like traveling. Traveling is a hassle, tiring, and a lot of the times boring (which I don't mind), and with family extremely aggravating, but the mystique escapes me. I prefer destinations, particularly staying in them. You can't make me care about something I haven't developed an attachment to.

I think the fact that I keep finding opportunities and (ulterior) motives to go is a sign of my era, more than anything else.

I guess I just find it a little weird. I'm not a rich douche-bag, who doesn't know what else to do with myself, other than apparently trying to "find" "myself" in an "other" culture, that of course must hold all the answers because it is "utterly" distinct from my native one, of which I personally failed to find any (I'm looking at you, Eat, Pray, Love!) Nor do I have the personality to search for these opportunities, like other travelers I assume have. The only place I've ever really wanted to go is Paris, and not even that badly anymore. All I have is an open mind, and apparently that's all that's required (and cash, that too.)

(God, if I ever wanted to see anything in my whole life, it would be to see my Literary Theory teacher (who is from India, and is fastidiously feminist and post-colonial) rip Eat, Pray, Love a new one. Pegh. No contest.)

I'm really the settling down kind, and I actually have to purposely, constantly push my bubble out to explore anything. And I don't feel I'm that successful at it either, on the small-scale. I haven't been around to see the city I've been living in for six months, for instance. But tomorrow, I'm going to Hong Kong.

Although, in my defense, it's fucking cold outside. Hence (motive), Hong Kong. 

....I have no idea where this is going. Well, I'm hoping hot guys. Noooooohandsome guys, HANDSOME. There's a difference, and I stand by it. Handsome is how I define it. Hott™ MTV owns, I think.

I'm going it alone, and I'm doing it by the seat of my pants. Reserved a place, some ideas, but no plan. 


If this is anything like college, I think this'll be a better vacation than any other I've ever been on.

Aug. 29th, 2011


Never to return again...

I really hate being abrupt about this, especially when this is much like a last mayday before the transmission cuts out BUT: I'm going to China.

Yeah, that's what I've been doing.

I feel like I've had my head up my ass for like....well, since I've been out of school really. Which isn't all that unusual for the summer months, but it's been particularly bad since I graduated. I feel especially bad about my epic fail in wtfholic_fest. foolish_m0rtal did not deserve that.

LJ deleted everything I had written after this. Just as well. It was a bunch of whinging anyway.

I'll be gone for a year, till next July. NO LJ in China. I hope I'll be able to make it up to the fandom after my return.

....Have a great year, yall. :)

Dec. 17th, 2010


Books and Sex

“Have you read more than 6 of these books? The BBC believes most people will have read only 6 of the 100 books listed here. Bold those books you’ve read in their entirety, italicize the ones you've partially read."

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6 The Bible
7 Wuthering Heights – Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four – George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials – Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations – Charles Dickens
11 Little Women – Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles – Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 – Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca – Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit – JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong – Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye – JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife – Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch – George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind – Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby – F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House – Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace – Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy – Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited – Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment – Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath – John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland – Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows – Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina – Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield – Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia – CS Lewis
34 Emma – Jane Austen
35 Persuasion – Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe – CS Lewis
37 The Kite Runner – Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin – Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha – Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh – AA Milne

41 Animal Farm – George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code – Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude – Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney – John Irving
45 The Woman in White – Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables – LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd – Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale – Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies – William Golding
50 Atonement – Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi – Yann Martel
52 Dune – Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm – Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility – Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy – Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind – Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities – Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World – Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time – Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera – Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men – John Steinbeck
62 Lolita – Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History – Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones – Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo – Alexandre Dumas

66 On The Road – Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure – Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary – Helen Fielding
69 Midnight’s Children – Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick – Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist – Charles Dickens
72 Dracula – Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden – Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island – Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses – James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar – Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons – Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal – Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair – William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession – AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol – Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas – David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple – Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day – Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary – Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance – Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web – EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven – Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes – Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection – Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness – Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince – Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory – Iain Banks
94 Watership Down – Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces – John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice – Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers – Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet – William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory – Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables – Victor Hugo

A four-year education as an English major and I can honestly say I've only read 13 of these. Gah. As if I don't question my education enough as it is. I really wonder if my time would be far better spent while I'm out of school on educating myself. Obviously, I didn't do myself any favors making things easy on myself.

Well, other than that unpleasant wake-up call, winter break is on, and it's been only a week and I can already say I've been fantastically lazy. Some things are going to have to get done, but my personal projects keep shifting to the back burner. This has got to change.

On a random note, my friend is turning into a prude and I think it's funny.Collapse )
Tags: , ,

Jun. 13th, 2010


Another Summer Sojourn ;)

Oh boy.

Again, been meaning to update this (great job I've been doing, I write one writing post and then am not seen for another three months) but never got around to it. Writing takes energy for me, and while not a particularly hard thing to do when I sit down to do it, it's the sitting down part that takes a lot of mental energy to accomplish. ^^;

Well, really it's fine, because I haven't made much progress in the writing department. It took me at least a month to get my head around summer break (the transition makes me exceptionally easy to distract and laze around) before I felt like doing anything. Actually that's a little unfair, I spent a good part of May working in my Chinese workbook to prepare myself to the trip.

Which will be occurring on Thursday morning (really Wednesday, because it's early morning, and there are going to be a lot of errands I have to run that day to be prepared). I am going to Beijing! :) For two weeks. And like the last time to Australia, I'm getting travel anxiety. Although, I don't think it's as bad this time, as I'm only beginning to get nervous a half-week in advance in comparison to what felt like a month before the trip to Australia. Which I guess is good, maybe I'll actually get used to this before I start traveling on my own. O.o;

It will be a very busy visit. There's a lot of things to see around Beijing, and we're also taking a brief three-day side trip to the coastal city Qinhuangdao. I'm going with a school group this time instead of family, and my Chinese teacher will be leading us, so we're sure to get a lot out of the trip. :) While we're there, since this is a school excursion, we'll also be taking a couple lessons crammed between sight-seeing in Chinese, so hopefully I actually be able to get around a little without my teacher having to act as sole interpreter. ^^' I'm actually getting some money as a teacher assistant, so it would be nice if I could actually help! (And, god, I just realized how many times I use the word "actually" when I wrote that last paragraph! @.@ Bad habit, bad!)

Anyway, I'm going to be getting a lot of money for this trip, the only problem is I'm only going to be able to get it the day before we leave that night. Which I don't feel good about. The really nice thing about this trip is that a university in China and the Chinese government are paying for almost all of it, so we almost literally only had to pay for the plane ticket over. Which makes the trip come to a measly $1500 (a damn deal). The money I'm getting will be for extra stuff and bottled water, which is a slightly necessary commodity over there I've been told. I should have more than enough for that and extra left over when I get back (which will be nice, because I have yet again failed to find a summer job and it would be really nice to be able to go somewhere and do something!), but, with the way these things work out, something could go wrong before I even get started. :( Which could be okay, now that I think about it, because I still have a little left over from my purchase of my car that I can use, but....it'll be really nice if that doesn't happen! ("Nice"..."nice"!)

Anyway, so there's all that. :) I'm not so good at oral comprehension (I mean, if you tell me something it'll go right through my head like sand through a sieve) but my reading comprehension is through the roof, so I'm going to use the opportunity of the dfhadjfhladskfsam;'fd-hour plane ride over to get started on one of the Chinese novels that a friend of mine gave me when she went back to China. I get really excited when I think about it, and I'll be using my travel journal and Chinese dictionary (which I have admittedly haven't gotten yet) to work on it, and my Chinese teacher will be on the plane so I am looking forward to making progress on that. :) I really don't like bringing any electronics or (cherished) reading material with me when I go out of the country (far too paranoid about losing them), so having something to work on while going over will be really nice. ("Nice Nice Nice"!)

The only bad thing about the trip is that it's coming during a time when things are getting going over in holicminibang and I haven't finished my stories yet. *panicsweat* I'll be super busy and running around Beijing all day, so I'm really not going to be up to writing anything more at the end of the day except jotting something down in my travel journal and hitting the sheets. So, I either have to finish my stories before I leave or really quickly when I get back July 2nd. Which I still think I can do, because while I'm really not near to finishing my first story, I've got the next couple days to do it, and I'm thinking my second story I'm just going to have to do when I get back, although I have done the research that wanted to do before I wrote the second one ("research" involving rereading the first 4 volumes of xxxHolic, aheheheh). I can do it, I know I can, I just wish I could make the exact stated deadline, instead of having to push at it a little and make my artist wait. *sadface*

Which, of course, pushed back what I was doing with "The Third Voyage". ^^; Well, I hope I can get all three fics finished and brushed up before the summer ends! ;) Now that I think about it, won't that make my summer pretty productive? All I have to do is find a grad school and I'll be set!


Apr. 4th, 2010

Angry Sakura

March Writing

So, I've actually been putting off writing this post since there are really, much better ways I can economize my time on the computer right now (not that I actually do use it for said ways), but the latest message from ljnews decided me on doing it right now.

Btw, I'm all for LJ-improvement, but wtf?!

They're implementing two new things, and neither bode well. One, they are getting rid of icons, so we can "start from scratch" (who's brilliant idea was that!? That's going to piss a lot of people off.) That is not so terrible for me since I've been planning a make-over of my icons since January, but I bet there is a lot of people out there who'll find some of their favorite icons gone forever. LJ, bad idea. (Really, would it have been so hard to give a multiple delete option to icons?)

The other thing is is that they will start deleting journals that are six weeks behind.

I will be so pissed if I come back to LJ and discover that my journal was deleted.

No, LJ, I do not update a lot. I do not update as much as I should. I am part of too many online communities, and spend the little energy I have reserved for superficial human contact spread out among them. My journal is not required to be updated every week, two weeks, four weeks. I do not write anything when I have nothing to say. But when I do have something, I come here, I keep coming back here, to write and communicate a little. You do not have the right to delete me because I'm a sporadic updater. At the very least, you should have made it a year, instead of six weeks. I understand that you're trying to cut out old journals that their users have abandoned but I have not, and I dislike this assumption.

Of course, I'm saying this because I haven't updated in six weeks. ORZ. ^^;;;

But in short, what I'm trying to say is even though I don't post a lot, I do keep up with LJ and the people here. And certainly the people are more important than this journal.

</rant> Back to the subject line...please? lol

Edit: Whoops! I checked it again, and it said six months not six weeks! A bit of a (huge) difference there. ^^' Apologies for the panic!

I can actually positively say, I've made some progress. :D I wrote a complete short-story for my science fiction class called Origins, seven pages long. *is proud of herself* Is it sad when I realized that this is actually the first story I've ever completed..ever? And it was written in 5 days too. O.o When I get around to editing it and fixing the mistakes my class pointed out in it I'll probably post it up here. :3 Exciting!

(I don't know whether it attests more to my lack-luster writing schedule or my bad habit of taking on long projects that this will be the first. ^^')

I've also made a start on a Kurogane/Fay fanfiction called The Third Voyage. I never thought that I would ever end up writing a KuroFay fanfiction. I've had a couple ideas, but I'm more into xxxHolic. But I've been reading mikkeneko 's The Wizards of Ceres and have been really inspired lately to write for the fandom. It's science fiction again, since that's what I've been taking this semester, and it's based off of Ray Bradbury's obscure novel The Martian Chronicles and his short story "Mars is Heaven!". I'm thinking for that class I might do a research paper on his book, so hopefully I'll get even more information for it. :3 Because of some critique I've been getting in class, I've decided to redo the beginning and tighten up my prose. The only thing I worry about is that I won't live up to my inspiration or make it original enough to be my own. But, you have to keep writing even when you're unsure. Otherwise you get too afraid to put a pen to paper (or to press a key in a document).

Still, I've felt like I've made some progress, even if it is for school. ;)

Urgh, one more month and I'll be a college senior! (I'M THAT OLD ALREADY!?!?!)

P.S. More earthquakes! This time in Mexico. Apocalypse Theory: In 2012, the world's just gonna give a big shake and all the people will fall off.

Feb. 27th, 2010


Beginning Writing

I've been thinking about my writing/drawing schedule recently, with half the semester already finished and summer coming up again. My best friend has recently had the revelation that she really wants to do art, all the way, as a career and a lifelove, rather than just in her free-time as a hobby. This is a big step for her because she used to be resigned to getting a job to make money and not really becoming a starving artist (I wonder which one is really better in the long run, though I'm doing the exact same thing with an English degree. - -') So in order to help her to create a habit (along with myself) I've resolved to work on art together this summer and both become better artists. ...so, this leaves my writing...where?

There really is enough time in the day, at least for me. But its not just a matter of time, but of mood and muse as well. I am still determined to do this. But I still worry...

Worry doesn't solve anything though.

What I've decided is that I'm going to try working off a monthly schedule. Weekly schedules are too short; they don't allow me to recuperate my creative process and I have too much to do at school during the week to spend time worrying about it. But a month, that allows plenty of time and I can get out 12 pieces a year, as opposed to my crappy 1 per year that I've better puttering out sporadically. I don't know why this didn't occur to me before.

I still don't know when I'm to get around to posting some things up here, but not everything I'll be working on from month to month will be fanfiction and some I won't be posting online (I need to start considering submitting original pieces to magazines and contests and such). But, starting in March, I'm starting a listing of writing posts, where I'll show what I've done this month and where to find it or describe what I'm doing if it isn't going on the interwebs.

I'm really excited about this, and I'm hoping I have finally found a writing practice that will suit my creative needs and allow me to be motivated to write more. :) Here is wishing good luck, to all writers and artists struggling to create.

Feb. 13th, 2010


(no subject)

It's been snowing! <3 A whole 5 INCHES.

In SOUTHERN ALABAMA. It never snows! <3

(and I've come to the conclusion that I'm confused about life right now, but whatever)


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